Before I jump in to this week’s post, a quick note. As you likely noticed, I did not publish a piece last week. I was traveling in Colorado for a product launch, and between traveling and getting everything set up for launch, I failed to publish a post. However, that’s no excuse, and so for that reason, I’ll be publishing two posts this week. On to today’s post.
One of the most important skills of a successful product manager—or really any successful person in the corporate world— is the ability to influence others. I’d argue this skill is one that separates the great from the average. The problem is that it is not something we are taught in grade school or when first starting our careers. Fortunately, it is something that can be learned. As someone who struggled with this early in my life and career, I was curious to learn more about how to improve my ability to influence others.
I recently read the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, which explores the psychology behind why people say “yes” and tips for how to get others to comply. This book taught me a great deal on how to take many of the principles of persuasion and put them into action.
Cialdini’s book is divided into six sections, with each section covering a method of influence. The six sections are:
Reciprocation
Commitment and Consistency
Social Proof
Liking
Authority
Scarcity
In the book, each principle is supported by real-world examples, psychological research, and further anecdotal evidence to illustrate their effectiveness in influencing human behavior. Cialdini notes these principles can be used both ethically or unethically, and it provides insights into both sides. The book aims to help you understand how these principles work so you can recognize and respond to them effectively, as well as learn how to apply them yourself.
The purpose of this post is to focus on how I have used these principles of influence to advance the effectiveness in my job and to help me become a more influential person outside of work.
Reciprocation
Definition:
This principle states that people are more likely to comply with a request when they feel obligated to reciprocate a favor or gift.
How I’ve Applied It:
When I know I may need a favor from someone in the future, I try to pre-empt that by offering something that is helpful for them, whether that’s a gift, advice, a helping hand on a difficult task, or really anything that shows my appreciation. This way when I am in a pinch, and I need that person’s help, they are more willing to help me as they see it as returning a favor.
Additionally, if there is something I really don’t want to do, I try to spend time finding something the other person doesn’t want to do. Then I either offer to take it off their plate or recommend that we don’t need to do it. This comes in handy when they come to me with something they know I don’t want to do. I can more easily reject it, with the knowledge that they’ve reciprocated that behavior.
Takeaway:
By initiating the process of giving, you can influence others to feel obligated to return the favor.
Commitment and Consistency
Definition:
This principle suggests that people strive to be consistent with their previous commitments and actions. Once individuals make a public or written commitment, they are more likely to follow through.
How I’ve Applied It:
This reminds me of what James Clear talks about in Atomic Habits in terms of holding yourself accountable. I’ve found establishing personal deadlines and publicly writing a commitment has made me more likely to accomplish a task. One example is this newsletter itself—by writing down and publicly committing to publishing once a week, I am more likely to fulfill that commitment.
In the workplace, one effective mechanism I’ve employed is to get alignment from team members or stakeholders in a shared setting, like a meeting or document. Once that commitment is made and publicized, I’ve found team members are more likely to strive to accomplish it in order to follow through on what they committed to, and more importantly, far less likely to renege or change their perspective since it would make them appear conflicted or hypocritical. It’s also an effective technique for larger projects. By getting members to commit to a smaller piece, they are more likely to continue to commit since they have already put one foot in.
This can also be applied to establishing a deadline that is driven by team members. Deadlines created within a team are proven to be effective. However, if instead I assign an arbitrary deadline or I am wishy-washy about what I want done, I’ve found team members won’t feel like they committed to anything, and will be less likely to deliver on their promise to me.
Takeaway:
By getting others to commit to something small initially, you can increase the likelihood of their compliance with larger requests later.
Social Proof
Definition:
The principle emphasizes that people tend to follow the actions of others, especially in uncertain situations, to determine the appropriate behavior.
How I’ve Applied It:
In cases where I have an opinion or perspective that I want to drive a conversation towards, but where I have concerns that others will be influenced by a leader or another team member, I’ll often set up 1-1s to try to get buy-in. In this environment, I know my counterpart is more likely to use data and facts to come to a decision rather than the social norm of agreeing with others. Then, once I have buy-in from a number of people individually, I will use their commitment (the previous principle) to influence my perspective on the entire group.
There are also times where social proof can be used to my advantage. For instance, if I know that a key stakeholder in a meeting shares my opinion and that their action will influence others, I will navigate the meeting towards having them to state their opinion early on, in the hopes that others will follow them. The downside here is that this can sometimes lead to fewer ideas being shared or that less confident people don’t raise risks for fear of being shutdown, and we end up with an oversight.
To encourage dissent and to encourage people to speak their mind, I will often frame meetings by presenting multiple sides or by relaying a side that I don’t personally agree with. I do this in order to ensure that there are facts and reason behind the rejection of the idea, not just social agreement at play.
Takeaway:
By highlighting what others are doing or have done, you can influence people to align their behavior with social norms.
Liking
Definition:
This principle suggests that people are more likely to comply with requests from individuals they like or find attractive.
How I’ve Applied It:
This is one I used to struggle to understand. I used to have the assumption that if you work hard, you will succeed. But nothing is independent. If you aren’t willing to connect with others on a personal level, it becomes much harder to get their buy-in when you need their support. Humans aren’t always rational—they tend to help people they like, even if it goes against all logic. As someone who is fairly logical, this came as a surprise to me.
One way I have changed my approach is by focusing on connecting with co-workers and friends outside of the present topic at hand. Whether that’s connecting about sports or movies, or making small talk in the office, or genuinely showing interest in their interests and passions, I’ve found building that type of rapport goes a long way when things get challenging. I’m more willing to go the extra mile for someone whose company I genuinely enjoy, and I think many others are like me.
Attractiveness is not purely physical. There are ways to appear more attractive by showcasing your work ethic, being level-headed and even-tempered, or by sharing jokes and not taking things too seriously. I try to prioritize these attributes in my day-to-day, which increases my likability.
Takeaway:
Building rapport, finding commonalities, and showing genuine interest can enhance your ability to influence others.
Authority
Definition:
The authority principle states that people are more inclined to follow the advice or commands of those perceived as experts or authority figures.
How I’ve Applied It:
This one is fairly obvious. Most people are willing to accept what is told to them as facts if it comes from an authority, even if it is untrue. We see this all the time in the media or in government.
The biggest mistake I make is that sometimes I’m afraid to use this knowledge to my advantage. Even though now I’m the type of person that is less afraid to speak up to a leader in a company, I know that most are going to honor the hierarchical process.
To apply this effectively, it is in my benefit to have authority figures in meetings when I know they agree with my perspective. It also makes sense to not bring in authority figures when I am the highest authority figure in the room, because then I have a higher likelihood of driving and controlling buy-in.
Another effective use of this tactic is when you are at a stalemate. I often will bring in an unbiased third party that is highly respected or considered an expert in their field. This brings down the pressure of influence, while still ensuring that people will listen to the most credible person in the room, optimizing for the best idea winning out.
Takeaway:
By establishing your expertise, credibility, or position of authority, you can increase your persuasive impact.
Scarcity
Definition:
The principle of scarcity asserts that people place higher value on items or opportunities that are limited or becoming scarce.
How I’ve Applied It:
This principle is something I learned firsthand outside of work. In the context of sports, a scarce resource (or player) holds higher value because the rarity of their skillset puts it in high demand. In poker, a hand with a lower likelihood of occurring is scarce, and therefore it holds a higher value in terms of winning.
If I want to influence customers to purchase something, more is not always better. Advertising a special sale or a limited quantity can create excitement and therefore, a feeling of higher value. In a work context, if there is something unappealing that you want to have a direct report or teammate take on, creating arbitrary scarcity can be an effective tactic to make the work feel more valuable and appealing.
Takeaway:
By emphasizing the unique benefits, exclusivity, or limited availability of something, you can enhance its attractiveness and influence others to take action.
While some of the ways I’ve applied these principles may seem disingenuous, ultimately how you decide to use the knowledge is up to you. There’s little doubt that understanding these proven ideas is valuable.
Hey Nikil, great job summarizing the key to influencing others into just 6 factors! I also found it very helpful that you used real-world examples to demonstrate each concept.
The main takeaways for me were: (1) to offer help early on because you never know when you might need theirs in the future, (2) to come up with (non-arbitrary) deadlines in a shared setting b/c it gets everyone committed and on the same page, (3) to mention what others are doing / have done (especially if it’s in agreement with your ideas), (4) to show genuine interest in your teammates’ interest, (5) to bring in authority figures when you know they’d agree w/ you, and (6) to create arbitrary scarcity so that it seems more appealing.
Some of these will definitely be hard to do on the fly, but I’ll always have these principles in mind in my running career doc!