Being proactive is important. It's also important to figure out where longer lasting relationships will realistically form for you. Is it a meetup event, the workplace, a maker space...is it some place much different? What do you value most out of a friendship? These are some of things I think about.
Being proactive really resonates with me. I think that’s one of the biggest differences I’ve made over the years. And agree with you - optimizing for making friends around places you will be more often due to interests, life, etc. is important
Been thinking ab this too in the context of specifically knowledge workers - *why do we drift as we discover ourselves and become different*?
For knowledge workers, I wonder if a part of it is society pushing us to explore spaces and places where there are, frankly, fewer people who can relate. I see this happening more in your 30's. Similar to researchers who spend their time at the edge of the collective knowledge sphere - there are just few people that can occupy that mental headspace. My closest relationships atm are founders, co-founders, and creatives, bc we occupy similar headspaces.
Great point. I think as we get older, we get more clarity on what we want to achieve. And once we identify that, we find there's a smaller number of people who can relate/whose mindsets we align with because of this niche of knowledge. Definitely partly our own choices but also to your point societal pressures and standards.
I also think there's probably even dimensions within those groups you outlined. For example, while many of your close relationships are founders/creatives, I bet at a first principles level, you're all similar but maybe at a hobbies level or the companies that your closest friends are building are in different spaces, driven by different interests.
Yes exactly - we all explore diff hobbies & interests. I wonder if the unspoken narrative that we are pushed to occupy newer social roles - as authority figures. But it's hard to live up to this. As a result, we're always trying diff paths (hobbies, companies, etc) which lead to diff roles as authority figures. And we figure out with enough time which authoritative roles we're most comfortable with.
It's a bit abstract, but I have tangible examples supporting this from my personal experience. It's been an iterative journey to understand and step into the authority that comes with the paths I've explored.
Being proactive is important. It's also important to figure out where longer lasting relationships will realistically form for you. Is it a meetup event, the workplace, a maker space...is it some place much different? What do you value most out of a friendship? These are some of things I think about.
Being proactive really resonates with me. I think that’s one of the biggest differences I’ve made over the years. And agree with you - optimizing for making friends around places you will be more often due to interests, life, etc. is important
Rly like the genuine take of this piece.
Been thinking ab this too in the context of specifically knowledge workers - *why do we drift as we discover ourselves and become different*?
For knowledge workers, I wonder if a part of it is society pushing us to explore spaces and places where there are, frankly, fewer people who can relate. I see this happening more in your 30's. Similar to researchers who spend their time at the edge of the collective knowledge sphere - there are just few people that can occupy that mental headspace. My closest relationships atm are founders, co-founders, and creatives, bc we occupy similar headspaces.
Thanks, Jim!
Great point. I think as we get older, we get more clarity on what we want to achieve. And once we identify that, we find there's a smaller number of people who can relate/whose mindsets we align with because of this niche of knowledge. Definitely partly our own choices but also to your point societal pressures and standards.
I also think there's probably even dimensions within those groups you outlined. For example, while many of your close relationships are founders/creatives, I bet at a first principles level, you're all similar but maybe at a hobbies level or the companies that your closest friends are building are in different spaces, driven by different interests.
Yes exactly - we all explore diff hobbies & interests. I wonder if the unspoken narrative that we are pushed to occupy newer social roles - as authority figures. But it's hard to live up to this. As a result, we're always trying diff paths (hobbies, companies, etc) which lead to diff roles as authority figures. And we figure out with enough time which authoritative roles we're most comfortable with.
It's a bit abstract, but I have tangible examples supporting this from my personal experience. It's been an iterative journey to understand and step into the authority that comes with the paths I've explored.